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Instead of periodic flare ups of painful inflammation of muscles and joints we are left dealing with periodic flare ups of our children’s painful struggles to come to terms with our divorces, flare ups of our own painful struggles to come to terms with divorce and episodic painful dealings with our divorced spouses.
The evolution and stabilization of split off family units do not come about without mourning obsolete family units and coping with individual and systemic growing pains.
The potential is very high for a single mother to become focused on her loneliness and try to find a boyfriend just to fill that loneliness.
So she gets caught up in the need for a man or settles for someone unhealthy.
Her children's games are the only ones she wants to play. Feel like she's perfect except you don't want kids?In fact many single parents who are gun shy after divorce go in one of two directions.They either convince themselves they are better off not going beyond getting their feet wet (at best) or they deny and minimize their fears, which can lead to making reckless plunges. Well, the chronically painful realities of divorce that involve children may be likened to having a chronic and debilitating illness like arthritis.Furthermore, many of us after unsuccessful marriages have our self esteem wounded, experience guilt over making our kids victims of decisions that didn’t work out, may begin to doubt our abilities to choose appropriate partners and even delude ourselves into believing we are entitled to and can realistically expect to forge intimate and satisfying relationships without risking disappointments and rejections.Have you endured all the discouragement you can take in one paragraph?
Last time I wrote about how becoming a single mother meant having your entire life flipped upside-down.